So at the end of 2008, I hit a downspot. I was just feeling depressed all the time and overly stressed out. I came to realize that I had many reasons to be stressed. 2008 was hard! I got married, changed jobs twice, moved, started planning to have a major surgery, fought with some of my family, and grew closer to the rest. Most are obviously good things, but it can still be draining to do all that in one year. And the way it's looking, 2009 isn't going to be much more calm.
But... I'm trying to take steps to make each day more enjoyable. I'm trying to eat healthier, read more, stay up a little bit later, and just relax. More importantly, I'm trying to start actually working out! It's not going to shabby actually. I worked out two days this week and two days last week. I know that's not a HUGE amount, but its WAY more consistant than I've ever been before. I've started putting a smiley face in my planner on the days I worked out and then making a big smily face at the end of each week with a total number for the week. I know it sounds way corny, but it helps motivate me. Plus, I found out today that if I play motivational/inspirational/spiritual music in the background, it really makes it more enjoyable. It's like I'm working out my mind and body at the same time. So relaxing. Love it. AND... Christa cut and highlighted my hair yesterday. You might think that's unrelated, but its alot easier to work out when you're already feeling pretty and good about yourself. Motivation is key, and now that I'm figuring out what gets me there, I might actually keep up with it. Hopefully all these positive things I'm taking hold of will keep me from feeling this quarter life crisis that's been looming around me.
Side note #1: Surgery was moved to March 2nd. I guess because of my size, they need to do the surgery at the main Cleveland Clinic campus downtown. I guess they need more resources because of the amount of fluids I'll be losing and such. I don't really like being a special case, but it definately reminds me that I'm doing the right thing by getting this done. It's just coming so fast and I'm SO scared. I need a million hands to hold cause I'm a wimp.
Side note #2: I want to move to North Carolina. =) And actually not kidding. It's been one of the focal points of Andrew and I's conversations lately. If I moved there, would you visit me? Cause I really really really wanna go. So bad. It'd be such an adventure!
Side note #3: I've been reading Obama's book, "Dreams From My Father." I've really been enjoying getting to know him as a person. I've never taken much interest in politics and our leaders until now, and it's really quite interesting. Anyway. There was this part that really hit me. And the more I read it over and over, it's so true. So I thought I'd share, and then leave it to thought...
"Strange how a single conversation can change you. Or maybe it only seems that way in retrospect. A year passes and you know you feel differently, but you're not sure what or why or how, so your mind casts back for something that might give that difference shape: a word, a glance, a touch. . . a bridge between my future and my past."
13 years ago
