Before I get too deep here, 2 quick things... 1) The before pictures of the house are posted and the after ones will come in a few weeks. 2) Andrew and I bought a puppy. We get to bring her home saturday and I'm sure pictures of her will go up quite fast. She's a bright, spunky, happy, cuddly Golden Doodle! We <3 her. K... on to the purpose of this post...
I liked church very much today. The entire sermon was about endurance, but there was one snipet in particular that really struck me. He started talking about not looking back at the past, but always looking forward. How, when you're running a race, if you look back, you'll stumble and fall. You're not meant to run looking backwards, you're meant to run looking forward... striving for the finish line. He then went on to give a list of examples, but what it came down to is this. That's me. It's totally me. I spend so much time in heartache over where I used to be. Not in all ways, but spiritually. Whenever I find myself longing to be close to God again, I find myself thinking "well, I was close to God in Ocean City, but not now." Or, "I was close to God that summer I transferred colleges, but not now." And then, I get stuck. I get stuck reminiscing about how things used to be. About who I used to be. About how devoted I was, and about how devoted I'm not. And then I just give up. I decide that I'm just not that girl anymore and that I just can't be close to God anymore, but that's crap. I can't help but think of that song from Rent. No day but today. I don't need to sit around sulking about how I used to be spiritually. I just need to get up and do it. I need to show up to church every sunday. I need to open my Bible. I need to pray. I need to AT LEAST think about God. I rarely even consider Him anymore. It's sad really. But it doesn't need to be sad. I can have that relationship any day I want it. God doesn't live ONLY in Ocean City 04. God doesn't live ONLY in the summer of 05. God lives right here right now in Fairlawn Ohio in May of 09.
13 years ago
