Praying for a healthier year...

December has truly been the hardest month of my life. Poor little Nathan just can't catch a break. From our hospital stay the first week of the month, to his bout with the flu this past week of the month, I'm learning that being a mom can be painful. It is so hard to watch my little guy be so sad and be so sick and not be able to do anything about it. Granted, this flu bug he caught isn't the end of the world, but it's just bringing all the memories of our hospital stay back to the surface of my heart. I just want the little guy to be healthy. I feel like every bug that comes around seems to find its way into my little boy. =(

I can say that I'm thankful for the blessings that have made this month bearable...

1) Friends and family constantly offering anything they could to help us during our lowest of times.

2) Nathan's first Christmas was AMAZING! He had so much fun playing with the paper and pushing boxes around. His favorite gifts of course were all under $5. Racquet balls, maracas, and a plush football.

3) The flexibility of a part time schedule and managers that are more than understanding of the extenuating circumstances that have caused me to be so MIA this month.

4) The sermon series at church. Pastor Jeff has been preaching about God being "With Us" and what that really means. Boy has it helped to just close my eyes sometime and visualize God literally being at my side and holding me and little Nathan through these tough moments.

All I want for the new year is a fresh start with a healthy Nathan. The first 11 months of 2010 weren't so bad. Let's let go of December and go back to that...

Embarking on an Adventure!

So I've decided that with my new schedule, I need to be sure to devote some of my free time to God. I've never been good at setting aside intentional time to read and study the Bible, so I figured it's time to start. I would call it a New Year's resolution, but those never work out... so I'll call it a New Amy resolution. One more way to intentionally become the better me I'm striving to be. =)

This devotional book is a study of 52 different women from the Bible. The idea is to read about one woman a week. There are five daily readings or exercises each week... allowing you two days of wiggle room to keep on track. It says it's intention is to "help you approach the story of salvation with fresh eyes." It teaches you about the woman's story and the background of her life and times.

I'm quite excited about it. If anyone out there wants to join me and hold each other accountable to keeping on track, let me know! I know it sounds like quite a commitment, but I think it could be really rewarding. =)

LOVING IT!!!

Life is so darn good right now. I honestly can say that I've never been happier. I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom and this working part time thing is the perfect transitional step. Nathan and I have been having a blast together on all my days off and we're starting to get into routines and naps that I can generally plan on.

Nathan's been learning lots of new things lately. One of them is learning to crawl...


Another is learning to pull himself up! He loves staring out the window and looking to see what's going on outside. =)


I've been learning my fair share of new things too! Well, I shouldn't say learning. More like tweaking. Our house has never been cleaner and I've started trying new recipes! Last night, I made Andrew a spicy southwestern mac n cheese! Since mac n cheese is his favorite meal, you don't have to guess that he was quite impressed. =)

I've spent so many years wishing for things and time that I didn't have. Now there's nothing to wish for! I get to spend most of my days home with Nathan, learning to be a good mommy and a better wife. And three days a week, I get to take a little break and get my grown-up time at work. It's perfect. It's really really perfect. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity. ESPECIALLY during the Christmas season!

What a Week...

...and it's not over yet. Wow. It's amazing the strength God gives you during the times you'd think you'd just fall apart. But I think that strength is starting to run out. For those that I haven't talked to directly, here is the short version of a long story.

Nathan started getting sick with a cough and cold Sunday and it progressed into a fever on Monday. Ironically enough, Monday was his last day at daycare and they had to call me an hour before I usually get there to come pick him up. I took him to the doctor Tuesday morning and they did a chest xray, etc. but sent us home saying "he should come out of it soon. Come back Friday for a follow up." Well, he didn't get better. He kept getting worse. After a couple calls to the doctor and them saying I couldn't bring him in sooner as I was requesting, we ended up in the ER on Wednesday night. From there, he was admitted to the PICU (Pediatric ICU) at Akron Children's Hospital. Overnight Wednesday night, he experienced respiratory failure. THANK GOD that we followed our instinct and had him there where the doctors could use all the necessary equipment to keep the little guy's breathing going. He was diagnosed with RSV, a respiratory infection, and because he took it so hard, they're wondering if he has an underlying problem of asthma.

After that, Nathan spent the next three days in PICU, slowly being weened off the oxygen machines. Saturday afternoon, they took him completely off the oxygen. He then got moved off the PICU floor and onto a regular floor. They were hoping he'd come home today, assuming he could stay completely off the oxygen. Unfortunately, during the night Saturday night he needed a little more help, so they put him back on it. Looks like it's going to be at least one more night at the hospital. This truly brings more meaning to the saying "One day at a time." There's really no telling when this nightmare will truly be over.

People keep commenting about how calm and cool and collected I've been through all of this. And it's true. I've really held it together. The tears I've shed have been far and few between. Like I said at the beginning, it's amazing the strength that God can give you. I wouldn't be handling this so well if it weren't for Him. I've been trying to focus on the silver lining. I've been trying to take note of all the ways God held Nathan through this past week and made everything work out so perfectly amidst a horrible scenario. But honestly... I'm feeling my strength fading. Everyday, it gets harder not to just break down. I have a feeling when this is all said and done... when we get home and can have Nathan sitting on the living room floor helping us finally decorate our naked Christmas Tree... that's when I'll break down. Until then, send up prayers that God would give Andrew and I the perseverance to be strong for our precious baby boy.