Hormones are a crazy thing!

So Andrew had the pleasure of experiencing his first true "I have a crazy pregnant wife" moment yesterday. I can't help but share.

So I had a rough "identity" weekend. My belly is really starting to grow and that causes quite a change! For one, we have a Halloween party next weekend. So I'm trying to find a costume, and it is hard! On one hand, being pregnant, you don't feel "cute" in anything, and doing most costumes feels odd. Example... characters from Scoobie Doo... cute idea... oh wait... a pregnant Daphne? Wierd. Right. So, I feel obligated to do something "pregnant," but then everything feels over the top corny. Anyway, this caused me to be slightly down and moody.

On top of that, I don't move the same way I used to. Leaning forward doesn't feel so great, and touching my toes is a new obstacle. I can still touch them, but I just have to bend differently than I used to. So... this is where the funny comes in. Last night, I was trying to change my clothes before bed. Well, my foot got caught in my jeans because I didn't use my new methods of successfully reaching my feet. Then... I fell over! Boom on the floor. I immediately broke into tears, not because I hurt anything, but because of the frustration. THEN I started laughing! Come on. It was funny. I mean, I fell on the floor cause I couldn't successfully reach my foot to take of my pants. So I was seriously laughing and crying BOTH as hard as I could. It was intense. Such joy and sorrow all at the same time. Super upset/emotional cause my body was changing, but hilarious because I know that it's normal and it's probably quite funny to watch.

Poor Andrew. He could hardly get a word in I was crying/laughing so hard. He looked at the dog and said "Hmm.. Maddy, Mom's acting kinda crazy isn't she? We're gonna leave for a minute." Haha. So he took a five minute break and came back to find me settled down for the most part. Funny funny. Gonna remember that one for awhile. Hormones are definately a crazy thing!

A big baby boy!

So our ultrasound went well last friday. As most everyone knows, we found out we were having a little boy! Andrew and I didn't want to have too many wishes about the gender, but we both admit that we were hoping and expecting it to be a little boy. It's nice to know we've escaped the possibility of having a family of all girls. =) I think Andrew might have gone a little crazy if that had happened. Now he has a little boy to play racquetball and golf with!

The doctor also told us that everything looked healthy! That's definitely a good start. =) The only interesting part was that he told us the baby's measuring two weeks ahead of schedule! So either they miscalculated my due date, or I'm having a really big baby! They said that they'll look again and clarify at my next ultrasound in December. Let's just hope its the due date! I don't think any woman looks forward to having a big baby! That would not be a fun day. Maybe this is payback since when my mom had me I was 10 pounds.

Blessed...

Things are starting to really fall into place. I've been overwhelmed for the past 2 months with the question of to stay home after baby, or not to stay home. Well, finally, a few weeks ago, Andrew and I decided that we wanted me to stay home. At least most of the time. We know that it's unrealistic if I stay home 100% of the time with zero income. So since then, we've been throwing around ideas of different part time jobs I could do. Finally, two nights ago, I realized that I'm not going to really have an answer to that question until the baby comes. It's not like I'm going to find a job offer right now that wants to give me a job 9 months from now. So Andrew and I talked about it and we decided to just wait and to trust. We decided we'd just plan on me leaving my job in April and that come June, we'd see what job God had waiting for me in the wings.

Well, funny how when you finally decide to trust God, he can sometimes come through rather quickly. I don't want to say too much yet until it's official, but it looks like I might get the best of both worlds. Keeping my job, and having lots of time with baby. We feel very lucky. =)

The more we figure out the logistics of our little bundle of joy, the more I allow myself to feel true excitement. I still can't believe I'm going to have a little baby in my arms in just 6 months. Actually, I'm having a harder time believing that a year and half from now, I'll have a little one year old running around. Having a growing child feels a lot more unreal than having a tiny baby. =D Crazy!

Careful What You Wish For...

...here it comes... the revealing! Most people already know, so why not blog about it. I need a place to jot down my feelings. ;) Anyway...

I'm sitting here totally an absolutely blown away by my last post. That's why I had to write this entry RIGHT NOW! I'm so blown away! Two months ago. 11 Weeks ago. I said in my blog " I'm ready for God to surprise me some more..." (Check if you don't believe me) Omg, does He listen! That very day/week/general time frame, there were tiny little cells coming together and multiplying like crazy without me having a clue. A baby! I'm exactly 11 weeks along, exactly 11 weeks after I was writing a journal entry about how much God can do in a year that we couldn't possibly imagine. It's so true! Andrew and I had no idea that next April, we'd be inviting a new little life into this world, but we are! And we couldn't be more thrilled. Although it came as a surprise, it didn't take us more than 5 minutes to be hooked on the idea. And in just a matter of weeks, our whole life, our purpose, our general direction took on a new light. A baby! Can you believe it!? I still can't sometimes. =)

I've been super lucky so far. Hardly any sickness. Heartburn at most. Can't complain. The only "symptoms" I've really had are complete crazy tiredness and my pants getting a little snug. ;) That and my body just doesn't feel "normal." I spose it'll be awhile till I feel "normal" again. And then I'm guessing that normalcy will take on a whole new meaning.

Anyway, I'm sure that the blog posts will multiply from here on out. There are so many things I'm learning about myself, and so many concerns that need "talking" out. Definately a huge subject matter for this lovely blog of mine. So I'll definately keep you posted. All I can say right now is that it's super exciting and I can't believe how quickly I'm sure this is all going to happen. Although, as exciting as it is... it's scary too! I'm scared of the process, of what's going to be taking place in my body. I'm scared of knowing what to do as a first time Mom. I'm scared I won't be good enough, smart enough, loving enough. They say it all comes natural. I sure hope so! Cause being responsible for such a tiny life that's going to do great things... that's intimidating!...

...but so amazing! =D

Time Flys!

Fourth of July weekend. Two years ago, yesterday, Andrew proposed to me. Who knew we'd be here. Who knew...

1) We'd have a beautiful and perfect wedding day
2) Get a cat
3) I'd get a new job with awesome co-workers and stability
4) Have the breast reduction I'd dreamed about
5)Buy a house we thought it'd take years to get
6) Buy a dog
7) Be regularly attending an amazing church with my brother and his wife
8) Meet new friends that have become so close
9) Watch close friends get engaged and married

It's been a fast two years. Funny how you always think you'll know exactly where you'll be "one year from now," five years, etc. But really, you have... no... i... dea. Most of those things on the list, I couldn't have guessed would happen. And even just in the next year to come, I'm sure things will happen that I can't imagine. Yet somehow, we always feel like we know it all. Like we can see it all coming. As if what we have right here, right now, is all we're ever gonna have. I'm ready for God to surprise me some more...

Puppies are hard...

Maddy is so cute, but I know that in about 6 months, I'll love her much more than I do today. She's just got so much energy! Whenever I have her out, it's constant chasing her around the house. I intend on borrowing a couple of baby gates from my mom, so as to maybe keep her a little more contained and me a little more calm.

Blogging is hard too. I blog so rarely that I feel when I do blog, it needs to be something deep and exciting. Something with good news. But not much is happening. So maybe if I do a couple lame blog posts like this, it'll get me rolling. =D

A Good Message.

Before I get too deep here, 2 quick things... 1) The before pictures of the house are posted and the after ones will come in a few weeks. 2) Andrew and I bought a puppy. We get to bring her home saturday and I'm sure pictures of her will go up quite fast. She's a bright, spunky, happy, cuddly Golden Doodle! We <3 her. K... on to the purpose of this post...

I liked church very much today. The entire sermon was about endurance, but there was one snipet in particular that really struck me. He started talking about not looking back at the past, but always looking forward. How, when you're running a race, if you look back, you'll stumble and fall. You're not meant to run looking backwards, you're meant to run looking forward... striving for the finish line. He then went on to give a list of examples, but what it came down to is this. That's me. It's totally me. I spend so much time in heartache over where I used to be. Not in all ways, but spiritually. Whenever I find myself longing to be close to God again, I find myself thinking "well, I was close to God in Ocean City, but not now." Or, "I was close to God that summer I transferred colleges, but not now." And then, I get stuck. I get stuck reminiscing about how things used to be. About who I used to be. About how devoted I was, and about how devoted I'm not. And then I just give up. I decide that I'm just not that girl anymore and that I just can't be close to God anymore, but that's crap. I can't help but think of that song from Rent. No day but today. I don't need to sit around sulking about how I used to be spiritually. I just need to get up and do it. I need to show up to church every sunday. I need to open my Bible. I need to pray. I need to AT LEAST think about God. I rarely even consider Him anymore. It's sad really. But it doesn't need to be sad. I can have that relationship any day I want it. God doesn't live ONLY in Ocean City 04. God doesn't live ONLY in the summer of 05. God lives right here right now in Fairlawn Ohio in May of 09.